Foreverxphantoms' Journals

I Oughta Know

I have a boyfriend, his name is Josh.

We've been going out for a month.

He is 18 and I'm lucky 16.

He texts me, calls me, hugs me, kisses me, cuddles with me, exchange hickeys, and talk to me.

He's sweet, nice, funny, gentle, thoughtful, and loving.

Josh is the kind of guy I dreamed about in elementary whenever I watched Sailor Moon.

Only one problem with him. He seems to good to be true.

Josh makes me comfortable before he does anything. It's love right? I enjoy being around him a lot but I'm starting to think this wonderful relationship is only based on what he hasn't done. He even looks like the type of guy that hates being in any relationship.

He never got a romantic kiss, never made out, never held hands, never gave hickeys, and never went to second or third base.

I gave him all that.

I like to give, he seems happy when I do and is happy when I'm happy. But during the process of running the bases he was so cute. So cute and innocent like. So during the whole time we hung out at his place it was awesome.

I mean people show affection with one another, right?

So that's what I did, but every time we're done it ends so sudden. Like being cut off of air. It was so instant like nothing happened at all.

Sure he talks about what happened between us and I feel happy knowing I made him feel good. Josh is the only boyfriend I kissed or made out with and never regretted it. I thought he was a keeper since he lasted longer then all my Ex's.

I got reality slapped today.

The guys I have been with usually lie and say something to get more out of me. What makes Josh different? We're going through the same cycles I've had in the past so of course I'm scared.

I do my brain washing and regret chant in my mind whenever I think of him and it all works. I start turning myself into the practical person I am and think about the pros and cons.

They're always even.

My point is, Why don't I feel guilty after doing stuff with him? Why am I sad after his stupid joking text message?

Why do I automatically hate the word love when it's used in a statement involving me and my boyfriend?

Everything goes down hill after I hear that stupid word, love.

The bullshit of "Love is just a strong word" has never helped -_-

ATTENTION!!!!!!

I NEED A THEME FOR MY YOUTH GROUP WINTER CAMP!

if you don't know what a youth group is its Bible Study!

SO SHOOT ME SOME IDEAS!

I WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL!

XD

PLEASE!!!!!!

halloween!

today i am going to halloween costume party as lil red ridding hood!
pics will be up soon and i hope i have fun.

have a great day everyone!

myspace!

http://www.myspace.com/perished_phantom

add me niggas!

woo!

holy crap its been a while, no? well anyways the news is mostly good i mean as far as school goes!

THINGS I MANAGED TO ACCOMPLISH DURING SCHOOL:

1. got my classes

2. attended them

3. doing a fucking awesome job in Art2

4. Getting goo grades.

THINGS I HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH BY THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR:

1. Hook up with a guy or die trying...jk...maybe?

2. Get this guy Jedadiah (Jed) to be my friend since he is so anti social and hates me.

3. Make more friends because my little close nit of two ain't workin.

4. Figure out what the hell i am going to do with my life!

So far i am slowly becoming friends with Jed and everything is going great. I am making more friends slowly but surely. I'm still fucking lost as to what i am going to do with my life. As for the whole boyfriend bit I've tried and got an answer by the guy avoiding me for a week so that was a no...more like a hell no really but hey there are plently of guys out there who actually speak fluent english! Grrr can't believe i fell for a rural Ricky Martin guy!

*Le Sigh*

As for the but load of people i added and have yet to talk to i say "Hey"

I don't know why you added me but i hope it isn't for those stupid pictures. I'm not fishing for compliments but some people are dumb enough to do that. Kind of like the people who add celeberties on Myspace. If you are get the chance to know me if not u can just sit on my friend list and collect dust. Ha....

Anyways I'll be sure to keep you posted on more goals or any other bullshit that happens to come across my life XD won't that be exciting?!

Have a great day!

XoXo

holy crap!

dude last night i was like a fuckin ninja when i snuck out! seriously a blood rush!

So Not Happenin

not goin to warped tour or A-kon or anywhere for that matter!

if anyone is going to warped tour or the A-kon bring me back something =[

Got Pregnant!

haha u actually thought that happened to me! Jerk...well who the hell reads these anyway?

Real or just a cheap immitation?

i went to the movies today to watch the new fantastic four movie and during the movie i noticed some things in it.

I noticed that the general in the movie was a real ass. He just basically used the Fantastic 4 crew to get gadgets from Mr. Fantastic then he later locks them in a room with guard at the door and security cameras in there. Who knew the military could be such egotistical jerks!

Well anyways I also noticed that society now had become based on looks and fashion. If you go out in jeans and a t-shirt now a days you get instantly judged. If you're not wearing some name brand shirt or shoes people automatically you're poor and shop at wal*mart or the good will.

The over coming trends have taken the minds of the young too. I noticed my little cousin getting into things she shouldn't be like gangs and other stupid stuff. Not to mention the whole Hardcore scene too. I see these little girls walking into hot topic with their hair in a sad attempt to look messy and talking about shit they know nothing about!

I don't maybe I'm jealous or evnious of them or just call me old fashioned. This new generation is so not working for me lol.

Good Old Days

man remember the good old days when you'd hang out at home and watch cartoons on Nick or Nick Jr?

Remember the times you wanted to be a disney princess or a power ranger or something?

Remember when the power rangers came out with their movie including Ivan Oooze?

Remember when you were so psyced about going to see the Lion King or some other cool disney movie?

Remember the cool red tricycles you got to ride in Kindergarten?

Or your best friend forever?

Maybe even your underwear with some sort of super hero on it?

I remember everything and I miss those times so much! If i had a time machine or a chance to redo part of my life I'd start from the beginning. Go back to when i came from dads sac lol and go through diapers, nap times, cool field trips, the times when I thought red ribbon week was the best time around school, back when you didn't have to worry about getting poisioned candy during Halloween or drive by shootings.

I wish i could just start over and cherish the good times and bad times because you never know what will happen.

Yeah that'd be awesome.